1. YOU ARE NOT COMFORTABLE AROUND YOUR PARTNER
You’re never sure of his/her moods — and they can switch so suddenly from warm and fun to cold and distant. When they’re in a good mood you can relax — but never entirely, as you never know when the next storm might blow in. And the storm is scary — or exhausting.
2. YOU ARE ALWAYS SORRY
Sometimes you’re not sure what you did wrong but you apologise anyway — it’s easier to keep the peace. Take extra note if you do this more than you used to.
3. YOU ARE RELUCTANT TO CALL HIM OUT
Even when what you have to say is valid, you tend to clam up. Your partner is a master Gaslighter: he/she will cleverly twist the circumstances to put the blame on you — so then you doubt yourself. Was I wrong for raising this?
4. YOUR PARTNER ALWAYS WAVE ISSUES
For example: It was just a bit of fun. Time got away on me. You know what I’m like when I’m with my work colleagues. You’re making too much of this. Haha! No big deal.
6. YOUR PARTNER IGNORES YOU
You try to ignore the obvious degrading comments but even the subtle slights serve to undermine your confidence. Your partner doesn’t ignore you every time —sometimes they’re lovely — but that’s the point. YOU DON’T KNOW WHEN THEY WILL FLIP
7. WHEN YOU’VE LOST YOUR CONFIDENCE
You often second-guess your own thoughts and actions. You don’t feel as confident in other areas of your life as you used to.
8. YOUR PARTNER HIDE THINGS FROM YOU.
Your partner is very protective of their phone. They’ll disappear without telling you where they’re going. And when they go out/away you’re never entirely sure of what they’re doing (and who with).
On the other hand, they want to know exactly what you’re up to, who with and what time you’ll be home.
9. YOU ARE NOT SURE WHATS NORMAL IN A RELATIONSHIP
You’re not happy and relaxed in your relationship; you have a feeling the erratic way your partner treats you isn’t right but you don’t know what goes on for other couples. You can’t exactly ask around. Maybe this is normal?
10. YOU KEEP TELLING YOURSELF YOU LOVE THEM
And you probably do. But loving someone doesn’t mean it’s okay for them to treat you badly. And loving someone doesn’t mean you have to stay with them at all costs.
So Is It Okay?
Challenges are bound to happen in relationships, mostly without lasting damage. But when you begin to see traits — you find yourself nodding to a number of these signs— then it’s like ly you’re in an unhealthy, possibly abusive, relationship.
If it’s been going on for a while, or if you are inexperienced in relationships, you may have started to accommodate your partner’s behaviours that can make it hard to tell what’s within the normal and acceptable range of relationship behaviour.